Last Friday I made my bi-weekly run to the local solid waste center in the town of Wolfeboro, New Hampshire. A light rain was falling that morning, and many other people had chosen that cloudy day to do the same thing. As I had little pressing business that morning, I took my time sorting out my stuff: burnable trash, glass, cardboard, mixed paper, newspaper, tin cans, aluminum cans, plastics, two used automobile oil filters, and a broken VCR/DVD player.
After a few minutes, I asked one of the five employees that run the operation where to put the broken VCR/DVD player. He asked to see it, and concluded that, because it was mostly plastic and not metal, it should go in a certain bin. He was courteous and helpful about this, and his professionalism made me pay attention to the questions other people were asking that morning: Where do I put this used propane tank? Is there a place for used batteries? Can I get rid of my bald truck tires here? I'm not sure what to do with these fluorescent bulbs? Do you accept old roof shingles?
Each question was answered with a courteous and helpful set of directions from an operator or attendant, workers employed by the town, with salaries supported by taxpayers like you and me.
As I drove away in my cleaner smelling, less cluttered station wagon, I thought, "What a nice surprise. My tax dollars support an operation where 5000 tons of material are recycled annually by courteous employees who get the job done in an efficient, cost-effective manner."
I wonder why all government employees, in particular, members of the United States House of Representatives and U.S. Senate, cannot do the same thing? "The name of the game," an old friend used to say, "is Get the job done. Do it right. Be kind and respectful of your fellow workers. Be a team player."
I look forward to a return of civility in our government, a time when more energy will be focused on getting a good job done rather than blocking the pathway toward progress. We all should live up to the same standard: Finish what we pledged to do. Do it right. Respect fellow workers. Strive for team goals.
Funny what you can learn by going to the Solid Waste Center.
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
You Should Have Said Something
“That sounds like something you should’ve said.” Canadian singer Terri Clark sings these lyrics in a song by the same name.
I was thinking about her message as a week long series of planning meetings came to an end at my school this week. One of the major topics discussed was the use and misuse of language by high school students. During a morning session on this topic, one participant suggested that sometimes good ideas come into our minds after the formal discussion is over, so there needs to be a way to include those good ideas in the mix. It gives participants a chance to say what they should have said but didn't.
Social media vehicles like twitter, blogger, Facebook and others are a great way to share ideas, but the question is: why wait? Is there something changing in our social culture that encourages us to hold back from talking with one another face to face, then grumbling later, “I wanted to say (or I should have said), such and such.”
The irony at my meeting was that even though we had talked about the importance of teaching young people to be courteous with language and to be courageous enough to confront wrong actions when they see or hear about them, when such an action occurred in our own meeting, nobody (including me) said anything.
Why (I wondered afterwords) didn’t I say something? Was it that I did not think that the statement was wrong at the time? Did I think that such a statement might have gone unnoticed by everyone else so I was afraid to be the lone critic? Why didn’t anyone step up to defend the person who was spoken to in an insensitive way?
After our meeting was over, one colleague took me aside and said privately, “Where does [person’s name] get off making that outrageous comment?” Moments later, another colleague said, “I wanted to smack that guy!” Awhile later the offended person said, “I would never let anybody talk a colleague of mine that way.”
Ouch!
Perhaps social media is changing the ways we interact with one another so that those of us who have been taught to risk courageous actions are learning a safer, gentler skill: run and hide now; attack from the anonymity of the cyber jungle later.
Perhaps I was afraid of being the lone challenger that day, or I was too concerned about avoiding an awkward, face-to-face argument, or, even more alarmingly, I have lost my ability to support and be supported by others in the heat of the battle.
This lack of immediate response to wrong actions is evident in the recent reports from former employees of Rupert Murdoch’s "News of the World" troubles. Some claim now that they knew about the “serious wrongdoing that occurred,” but were intimidated by the power of their bosses, and did not want to risk losing their jobs or their opportunities for advancement, so they kept quiet. Now that the story has been exposed, it seems these same folks have a lot to say.
How ironic. Yes, I admit, you have got me on that score.
Changes in the ways we interact socially, communicate professionally, problem solve and collaborate as leaders, are not always for the better. I know that if someone in a faculty meeting were to say to me or a colleague, “Your opinion is limited because you are an aging, Italian, ignoramus,” I would fight back. I would expect to have the support of at least one other colleague, because that kind of language is just plain wrong.
But the fact is that hurtful things are said all the time in meetings, at family gatherings, in school dorms and locker rooms, and no one speaks up. Why? Maybe it is because we are unsure whether the measure of the language used meets the “that’s offensive” limit on the abusive language meter.
Try these real quotes on for size:
Teacher: “Does anyone else have a stupid question to ask?”
Student: “Wow, that's an encouraging thought."
Athlete: “Get tough, you wimp.”
Teammate: “F*@k; off, you silly moron.”
Faculty Member: “The kids today are a bunch of spoiled, lazy brats.”
Administrator: “Don’t waste my time with broad, sweeping statements like that.”
Student: “A drama queen like you always exaggerates the truth.”
Actor: “Oh my God. Did you hear that? I am crushed. I’m quitting this dumb play!”
Radio Producer: “those [women basketball players] are some hardcore hos.”
Radio Host: “… nappy-headed hos.”
(CBS cancels the radio show.)
Neighbor 1: "The new neighbor is so cute. I wonder if he has one of those 'little man' attitudes?"
Neighbor 2: "You mean, is he going to be pushy?"
First Teenage Boy: “Don’t be a wuss.”
Second Teen Boy: “What do you mean?”
First Teen Boy: “Jeez, are you, gay?”
Second Teen Boy: “No, no, no. No way.”
Single Parent: “Anyone who is [GLTB] is not a true Christian.”
Pastor: “If that is what it means to be a Christian, then I am not a Christian.”
I guess what I am trying to say here is that people need to know that when they speak up for what they think is right, it is enough. In fact, speaking up for what we think is right empowers others to speak up for their own values. Whether peers or colleagues will support us does not matter. If we think a wrong is being done, then the response should be immediate and appropriate. Even if we know that we are going to re-evaluate the situation later, it is better to question the action immediately because it lets people know that we have been paying attention and that what is said, and the way it is said, does matter.
I was thinking about her message as a week long series of planning meetings came to an end at my school this week. One of the major topics discussed was the use and misuse of language by high school students. During a morning session on this topic, one participant suggested that sometimes good ideas come into our minds after the formal discussion is over, so there needs to be a way to include those good ideas in the mix. It gives participants a chance to say what they should have said but didn't.
Social media vehicles like twitter, blogger, Facebook and others are a great way to share ideas, but the question is: why wait? Is there something changing in our social culture that encourages us to hold back from talking with one another face to face, then grumbling later, “I wanted to say (or I should have said), such and such.”
The irony at my meeting was that even though we had talked about the importance of teaching young people to be courteous with language and to be courageous enough to confront wrong actions when they see or hear about them, when such an action occurred in our own meeting, nobody (including me) said anything.
Why (I wondered afterwords) didn’t I say something? Was it that I did not think that the statement was wrong at the time? Did I think that such a statement might have gone unnoticed by everyone else so I was afraid to be the lone critic? Why didn’t anyone step up to defend the person who was spoken to in an insensitive way?
After our meeting was over, one colleague took me aside and said privately, “Where does [person’s name] get off making that outrageous comment?” Moments later, another colleague said, “I wanted to smack that guy!” Awhile later the offended person said, “I would never let anybody talk a colleague of mine that way.”
Ouch!
Perhaps social media is changing the ways we interact with one another so that those of us who have been taught to risk courageous actions are learning a safer, gentler skill: run and hide now; attack from the anonymity of the cyber jungle later.
Perhaps I was afraid of being the lone challenger that day, or I was too concerned about avoiding an awkward, face-to-face argument, or, even more alarmingly, I have lost my ability to support and be supported by others in the heat of the battle.
This lack of immediate response to wrong actions is evident in the recent reports from former employees of Rupert Murdoch’s "News of the World" troubles. Some claim now that they knew about the “serious wrongdoing that occurred,” but were intimidated by the power of their bosses, and did not want to risk losing their jobs or their opportunities for advancement, so they kept quiet. Now that the story has been exposed, it seems these same folks have a lot to say.
How ironic. Yes, I admit, you have got me on that score.
Changes in the ways we interact socially, communicate professionally, problem solve and collaborate as leaders, are not always for the better. I know that if someone in a faculty meeting were to say to me or a colleague, “Your opinion is limited because you are an aging, Italian, ignoramus,” I would fight back. I would expect to have the support of at least one other colleague, because that kind of language is just plain wrong.
But the fact is that hurtful things are said all the time in meetings, at family gatherings, in school dorms and locker rooms, and no one speaks up. Why? Maybe it is because we are unsure whether the measure of the language used meets the “that’s offensive” limit on the abusive language meter.
Try these real quotes on for size:
Teacher: “Does anyone else have a stupid question to ask?”
Student: “Wow, that's an encouraging thought."
Athlete: “Get tough, you wimp.”
Teammate: “F*@k; off, you silly moron.”
Faculty Member: “The kids today are a bunch of spoiled, lazy brats.”
Administrator: “Don’t waste my time with broad, sweeping statements like that.”
Student: “A drama queen like you always exaggerates the truth.”
Actor: “Oh my God. Did you hear that? I am crushed. I’m quitting this dumb play!”
Radio Producer: “those [women basketball players] are some hardcore hos.”
Radio Host: “… nappy-headed hos.”
(CBS cancels the radio show.)
Neighbor 1: "The new neighbor is so cute. I wonder if he has one of those 'little man' attitudes?"
Neighbor 2: "You mean, is he going to be pushy?"
First Teenage Boy: “Don’t be a wuss.”
Second Teen Boy: “What do you mean?”
First Teen Boy: “Jeez, are you, gay?”
Second Teen Boy: “No, no, no. No way.”
Single Parent: “Anyone who is [GLTB] is not a true Christian.”
Pastor: “If that is what it means to be a Christian, then I am not a Christian.”
I guess what I am trying to say here is that people need to know that when they speak up for what they think is right, it is enough. In fact, speaking up for what we think is right empowers others to speak up for their own values. Whether peers or colleagues will support us does not matter. If we think a wrong is being done, then the response should be immediate and appropriate. Even if we know that we are going to re-evaluate the situation later, it is better to question the action immediately because it lets people know that we have been paying attention and that what is said, and the way it is said, does matter.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Raising Money For The Right Mission
Today I heard that President Obama and the DNC have earned over 86 million dollars during the last three months, a record-breaking number. I cannot help asking the question: How is it possible that in this troubled economy one person's mission can attract such astonishing contributions?
I ask the question because I serve in a small, private boarding school where people work very hard to raise funds that will support an awesome mission. Hear what our headmaster tells the student body is its mission:
“The answer to the question of how to prepare for college or how to prepare for life is actually relatively easy to explain—to prepare for college and life, commit to doing good work, work that makes your community, nation, and world a better place. Fight for justice, freedom and peace; learn to listen and to honor those with whom you disagree; protect children; honor and learn from diversity; save the earth; refuse to live trivial, confined, self-obsessed high school and collegiate lives.” After four years at St. Andrew’s, he will remind them, “Seniors, you will do what you have to do—good work; you will honor St. Andrew’s by moving out into the world and spreading this culture of good work wherever you go.”
So I have ask, what more worthy mission is there in this country than the one stated so eloquently above? If people want to fund something worthy and if they are looking to spend their money on a proverbial garden that bears real fruit, then they need to look at our country's high schools.
Schools like mine exist to serve a noble purpose and are willing to go the distance to make a difference. Just this week, twenty key administrators gathered for a week to explore how to adjust an already dynamic and vibrant curriculum and adapt it to better understand our emerging global on campus community and to prepare graduates for their entrance into an evolving global world.
Do you want to contribute to something inspirational and life changing? Then why not consider your local high school, your child's or grandchild's independent school, or any school that articulates and commits itself to a mission you believe in?
Thank you, in advance, for your interest and commitment to education. To see how one school lives out its mission, please visit: standrews-de.org
I ask the question because I serve in a small, private boarding school where people work very hard to raise funds that will support an awesome mission. Hear what our headmaster tells the student body is its mission:
“The answer to the question of how to prepare for college or how to prepare for life is actually relatively easy to explain—to prepare for college and life, commit to doing good work, work that makes your community, nation, and world a better place. Fight for justice, freedom and peace; learn to listen and to honor those with whom you disagree; protect children; honor and learn from diversity; save the earth; refuse to live trivial, confined, self-obsessed high school and collegiate lives.” After four years at St. Andrew’s, he will remind them, “Seniors, you will do what you have to do—good work; you will honor St. Andrew’s by moving out into the world and spreading this culture of good work wherever you go.”
So I have ask, what more worthy mission is there in this country than the one stated so eloquently above? If people want to fund something worthy and if they are looking to spend their money on a proverbial garden that bears real fruit, then they need to look at our country's high schools.
Schools like mine exist to serve a noble purpose and are willing to go the distance to make a difference. Just this week, twenty key administrators gathered for a week to explore how to adjust an already dynamic and vibrant curriculum and adapt it to better understand our emerging global on campus community and to prepare graduates for their entrance into an evolving global world.
Do you want to contribute to something inspirational and life changing? Then why not consider your local high school, your child's or grandchild's independent school, or any school that articulates and commits itself to a mission you believe in?
Thank you, in advance, for your interest and commitment to education. To see how one school lives out its mission, please visit: standrews-de.org
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